Saluting absurdity in football’s nether regions

Fantasy football at the Emirates

emirates-stadium1.jpg‘Know thine enemy’, Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu advised 2500 years ago. ‘Absolutely’, TMN pondered, ‘especially if the ticket to the Emirates is free and you can dredge a bilious article out of it.’ So, despite this being a website dedicated to football’s nether regions, off we tottered to the dark heart of the Premiership experience…

Read it here…

TMN trumps Setanta with exclusive Danny Potter interview

That Magical Night caught up with Cambridge United goalkeeper (and all round good egg) Danny Potter, straight after the U’s 2-1 win over Oxford last Thursday night.

Read it here…

TMN goes to Crawley and RIPS THE LID OFF OF IT!

ron_burgundy_sleazy.jpgOver two years after the controversial Azwar Majeed took over at Crawley Town and allegedly caused all sorts of trials and tribulations at the Sussex club, TMN this weekend donned its Investigative Fedora and headed south to RIP THE LID OFF OF IT!

Read this exclusive here…

Rose-tinted toe nails, lucky eggs and soiled undies

zodiac-jaspar.jpgTMN lets rip with another guest column, this time from resident star-gazer John Rippon. The return of Football What Matters has ushered in a superstition-inspired nationwide hunt for tattered old scarves, lucky tea mugs and treasured programmes, so JR takes a quick survey of our nation’s obsession with the trinkets and rituals we use in a desperate attempt to swing the tiny margins of fate in our favour. He also talks about dirty pants.

Read it here….

Commercial wolves take football to the slaughter

dollar.jpgNews of yet another elaborate non-league sponsorship deal gets TMN’s resident Premiership fan bemoaning the commercialism of football at every level – and a glance at the United States and Japan provides a chilling vision of things to come: the Tokyo Yakult Swallows are not a joke – they are a probiotic way of life…

Read it here.

Getting friendly

Bah humbug to the new season – we’ve already had a glorious summer of football. TMN reviews the pre-season games that mattered – and says there’s no such thing as a friendly.

Read it here.

Once, twice, three times a…trialist?

sleep.jpgTMN takes a long overdue and yet tellingly brief look at the lower league trialist merry-go-round. How do some of these guys get themselves a contract? Having spent a lifetime fooling The Man into paying it for doing pretty much nothing of use, TMN pays tribute to two men who are shining lights to incompetent slackers everywhere.

Read on…

TMN: Those Moralising Numpties?

morals.jpgTorquay’s recent signing of Crazy Chris Zebroski, and Oldham’s not-so-recent signing of Lee Hughes, have made TMN ponder the question of whether football clubs have an obligation to police the sport’s moral code, and also what sort of beer to buy before the football season kicks off again…

Read it here.

King Kevin’s dream job and a beheading for football’s money men?

My Football Club is a scheme from the clearly disturbed mind of Will Brook. 50,000 people pay £35 each, you pool the money, you buy a club, you run it in the spirit of true democracy. Chaos will reign, surely! TMN’s resident scatter-brained Premiership fan tries to unravel the inconsistencies and pitfalls at the heart of this crazy project, and then will probably forget what he was writing about and change his mind at the end.

Carry on…


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